Welcome to the City of . . .

Every time I try to take a deep breath, I end up feeling a choking sensation, as if my non-existent turtleneck sweater is suffocating me. My chest is constantly tight, and my head has reoccurring pounding fits. I am guessing this is what anxiety feels like.

But why the hell should I have anxiety? Many people would describe me to be very level-headed and cool under stressful conditions, which usually is the case. Not this time. I recently discovered that there is also a side of me that has terrible panic attacks, call it "travel anxiety", if you will.

I've been planning this trip to Northern/Central Europe for months now. I was so excited to see all the places that I would go, things I would do, and people I would meet. But as the days got closer to my first flight to Oslo, Norway on Christmas evening, I started to feel overwhelmed and worried of all the terrible possibilities. "You're worrying way too much," everyone would say. "Everything will be fine."

My travel partner, Justine, and I landed in Norway at 11:30am on the 26th. It was only a 7 hour flight, and the time difference was only 6 hours, yet I felt terrible. Not only was I exhausted, but I was now in a new country on my own for the first time. That was what I had liked to think my anxiety stemmed from, but it wasn't a good enough reason once my feelings persisted for the rest of our stay in Oslo.

As soon as the train from the airport rolled in, I noticed the dreariness of the city. Oslo itself was dark, grey, and cold. There was absolutely no vibrance aside from a typical ice skating rink scene with young people and children laughing and falling in the middle of Christmas-lit buildings. After three hours of wandering around lost and frustrated with data-less smartphones, we arrived at the apartment we booked through airbnb only to find an old, creepy, hunch-backed Indian man staring at us through the window. He reluctantly opened up for us, took off his glasses, and asked us for our names and why we were there. After a bit of an awkward conversation, he led us to our tiny bedroom within the all-white apartment space. Although Justine seemed perfectly fine, I could not shake this unsettling feeling about the place we were staying in.

Throughout the night, there were many voices, all in either accented English or a language I could not decipher. Even at 4:00am there was yelling and stomping, for reasons I will never understand why. I could not rest peacefully in this suspicious household, in a place where no one had fully explained or introduced themselves.

I kept telling myself that Norway was a very safe country and the most crime that happens is petty theft. I tried to reassure myself that everything would be fine. I swallowed up this huge burden of responsibility to not get myself lost, killed or broke. This housing situation and the fact that Oslo was just a bleak and depressing place, were probably the real main factors of my problems and stress.

But after spending two days in a boring, dark, overpriced city, we roll into Berlin and I feel like I am in a more relaxed, cheap, creative and cool version of New York. All my previous worries were out the door (kind of) and I had slept well for the first time on this trip.

Some advice - skip Oslo. Please. But don't skip Norway itself - visit the Fjords and Bergen, like most intelligent people do.

My first few days traveling (almost) solo were probably the worst days, but I have a feeling it will get better from here on out.

#travel #Oslo #Norway #BadExperiences #Stress #Anxiety